Are you afraid to love and be loved? Do you feel overwhelmed by your partner’s emotional needs, and find yourself turning to things like work, alcohol, pornography, or infidelity to detach yourself from them?
Or maybe you feel smothered by your partner’s attention, wishing for more time alone, feeling obligated to give the time you give, and eager to find solace afterward?
Many musicians have built their careers on expressing the hurt and pain they’ve received from love lost or rejected. Shakespeare’s tragic plays reveal the sinister side of love gone wrong: jealousy, emotional torment, murder, and death.
And yet we all strive for the very thing which often brings us so much pain. The chance to find genuine connection with others, be it friendship, romance or the bond between a parent and child. We hunger for these connections and yearn to achieve them.
But for some, the pain is too much to bear. When fear of rejection, betrayal and loss overshadows the possibility of the happiness and joy that love can bring, you may find yourself desperate to avoid intimate relationships.
Love avoidant are often people who have suffered great losses and pain in their lives. Terrified of experiencing the same emotional trauma again, they take great measures to detach themselves emotionally from others.
If you are love avoidant, you might not actively avoid love itself. Love avoidant do form relationships, but are unable to allow themselves to be vulnerable with their partners. The love avoidant person is often unconscious of this behavior.
Fearful of becoming too attached or vulnerable, a love avoidant may balk at the thought of commitment, leading them to run when they start getting too close to another person.
If they manage to stay in a relationship, they may feel that something is not right or lacking, and be filled with a sense of resentment towards their partner, when their own resistance to intimacy is a major problem.
The partner of someone who is love avoidant may be at a loss to understand why their mate is becoming emotionally distant…and this often leads to conflict.
While the love avoidant may form addictions as they try to keep themselves detached–work, substance abuse, sexual affairs etc–their spouse might have no idea what triggered this behavior and begin to blame themselves.
Love avoidant often inexplicably attract love addicts. Initially the relationship may work, with the love addict showering attention and love on the love avoidant, causing them to feel accepted and cared for.
As the love addict begins bonding themselves to their partner, clinging to them for support, the love avoidant partner will inevitably begin distancing themselves, walling off their emotions from their partner.
While love addicts require constant emotional reassurance and attention as proof of a loving relationship, the love avoidant person often feels that their love is proven simply by supporting their partner on an economic and physical level.
For the emotionally avoidant person, love becomes an obligation. When their partner expresses distress over the lack of emotional intimacy in the relationship, a love avoidant person may become overwhelmed, turning to pornography, substance abuse, or workaholic as a distraction from their frustration.
If it is difficult for you to be emotionally intimate with other people, if you are terrified of commitment, or feel smothered … or love your partner but find yourself compulsively drawing away from them and seeking distraction, you may be love avoidant.
The origin of this behavior is often rooted in traumatic childhood experiences which caused significant emotional damage to the individual. Almost always the cycle of avoidance can be traced back to a destructive relationship with a parent.
Through our program, you can learn to recognize how your early relationships hurt you, making it difficult to trust people and become emotionally bonded with loved ones in your adult life.
By realizing how the pattern of avoidance began, you can put a stop to the destructive cycle that has robbed you of fulfillment. You really can become vulnerable, receptive, and responsive, and enjoy the benefits of a trusting and lasting love relationship.
Contact us today and begin the change you need in your life.